Category: 2020

Meraj Rizvi: June 14 – June 18, 2020

June 14: Day 1 of my fast, day 111 of our chain:

For the numerologist types out there, the number tells something, isn’t it? I am joking, it doesn’t. it is just a number. Like so many other numbers out there- Number of COVID 19 cases, number of food packets, numbers of migrant workers, number of death due to hunger, number of lynching, number of sectarian riots, number of houses burned, , number of innocent lives taken by the police, number of people killed in riots, number of people committed suicide … I can go on and on like this forever, and it will still mean nothing. I don’t really know who or what to dedicate my first day of this round of fasts. Since we began this fasting chain, so many kinds of human sufferings have piled up that perhaps only a number can accommodate in this space. But let me write about what is most recent in the focus- Mental illness. It is a real thing, and we healthy people don’t understand it, can’t understand it. So, when someone tells you that there is no point in living anymore, or stays in bed for reasons you don’t understand, or have mood swings for no “obvious” reasons, please pay attention to it. Mental illness is not easy to diagnose, not easy to recognize, but it is there, more common than we perhaps know and in a lot of cases treatable or at least manageable. As a partner, friend, sibling, parent etcetera (yes! I like writing that in full), it is also not easy to make sense of things. It is emotionally tiring, but try to imagine how hard would it be to deal with mental illness yourself? To not know why you are acting the way you do? Why you suddenly have no energy, no motivation to do anything and all you can do is cry your heart out? Then why suddenly everything is clear again and you are full of energy? As if a cloud has lifted? Pay attention to words that they speak. And the key word here is “pay attention”, not provide answers, because there are none. And no matter how much you will tell your loved one motivational word, encouraging words, they will seem to hit a wall. So, what can you do? The first thing to understand is acceptance- that there is an illness and that you don’t understand (you can’t understand). Second, it is no one’s fault. It is an illness, and it needs to be addressed like one. A difficult kind, but an illness nevertheless. Third, empathy. And perhaps your biggest tool to connect with your loved one in the time of crisis, to create a space where your loved one can honestly and freely talk without hindrance or being judged or told what to do and how to do, because, perhaps all that your loved one wants is for someone to be there and listen. Or stay silent if speaking is too painful, and still have someone around. Fourth, counselling, diagnosis and correct medical intervention, just like any other illness (and although this is just one sentence, its importance can not be overstated) Fifth, your own mental health. Take time for yourself, give yourself a break if needed. You are also a human and you did not cause the problem, but you can be a great support if you are yourself mentally healthy. Sixth, education. Educate yourself, your friends, relatives while respecting the individuality and personal space of your loved one. Educate others about acceptance, care and empathy, but most importantly, to drive home the message that mental illnesses are illnesses and a lot of them are treatable and manageable. Without acting like “Mr. Fix it” and thinking that you have understood and found the solution. You have not. There is a ton of material available online and in forms of books about the medical, psychological and family/relationship aspect of mental illnesses. Seventh, path to recovery also throws many challenges. As a caretaker, avoid getting overenthusiastic. Be patient and let your loved one set the pace, but try to stay available. People with mental illness often appear “too touchy”, “too sensitive” and “too erratic”. Be patient with them, they are not doing it on purpose, they can’t help it. Stay put. You may be surprised to know how much they feel about their own behavior, if only you chose to listen. P.S: I have myself never experienced any sort of mental illness, and so I don’t claim to “know”. I don’t. But I KNOW that by being empathetic you can find a better space for both your loved one and for yourself. And on a side note, by being empathetic you can also learn and connect with your fellow human beings in general, especially with marginalized groups and those who face systematic discrimination at the hands of the State. So, “empathy”, should perhaps be the first thing you must learn before you can even TRY to “understand”.

#ChainFastingForPeace #FastingAgainstFascism #ResignAmitShah

June 15: Day 2 of my fast, day 112 of our chain:

Why you are not insignificant? We grow up learning that in the grand scheme of things our actions do not make any significant difference. Democracies around the world with all the Utopian ideals of people’s power has been successful in infusing absolute disappointment among the voters and we often hear- what is going to change anyway? So what if a different party or government comes to power? Nothing will change. But look at it like this. In an array of circles, neatly arranged in rows and columns, a square becomes very significant. And lesser the number of squares present in the arrangement, the more visible they become, the more disturbing they become, the more unacceptable they become. The status quo wants all circles, but just one square can disturb that arrangement. So, the lonelier you think you are in that sea of complying individuals, the more significant you actually are. But the problem with that misplacement is not really of significance. It is a problem of accepting your significance and acting on it. The fear of being identified as a square in that sea of circles keeps us from accepting that we are not a circle. The fear of looking apart from the group is what keeps us from accepting that we don’t belong. So, what to do with the fear? Find others like us. Reach out to people around us and try to find if there are other squares in that sea. There is always a silent defect around the atoms that don’t belong to the lattice. That silent defect can be heard by other atoms that don’t belong. Try to listen to that silence.

#ChainFastingForPeace #FastingAgainstFascism #ResignAmitShah

June 16: Day 3 of my fast, day 113 of our chain:

I was scrambling for words today (not exactly because I am too hungry, my body has finally accepted although it took a little longer this time) while I sat down to write for today’s post. So much so that I could not write even after several attempts. Then Asmita di wrote this comment on my last post, and what she wrote struck me- “…this struggle is the struggle of our times until the equilibrium shifts.” (you should read that comment) Which reminds me of our limitations in both space and time as those who fight against the status quo in the hope that some day things will change for better. But struggle against injustice is as perennial as injustice itself. And therefore, imagining that there will be an absolute justice is too naïve an expectation to hold dear. But what this struggle creates is a reminder, a hope perhaps, for those who will have to face a different struggle somewhere else, some later time, that it is worth struggling, like we so often look back to find our hopes.

#ChainFastingForPeace #FastingAgainstFascism #ResignAmitShah

June 17: Day 4 of my fast, day 114 of our chain:

Problem with lies is that when we keep telling them to others, at some point we, ourselves, start believing them. When the State spreads lies, it is called propaganda. But whether a person or a state lies, it still remains a lie. Just the scale changes. You may believe your leadership for whatever reason you want, suspend your own moral compass for hate, or selfish reasons, but you cannot change the nature of lies. And I have not heard a better description of its nature than in the TV series Chernobyl- “Every lie we tell incurs a debt to the truth. Sooner or later, that debt is paid” The real question is – who pays for that debt?

#ChainFastingForPeace #FastingAgainstFascism #ResignAmitShah

June 18: Day 5 of my fast, day 115 of our chain:

Why megalomaniac leaders gather such popularity? One of several common characteristics is that they provide easy answers to complex problems –

Are you outraged at your socio-political situation? Muslims are the problem.

You feel economically devastated? Boycott Chinese products.

You do not have jobs? Ambedkar introduced reservation and stole all your jobs.

Feel insecure about scientific-technological situation? Panchgavya has all the remedies.

When you get simple answers to problems that need serious and nuanced efforts, you can easily rest your mind and be satisfied while the fact is that you have made the problem worse. But you were not looking for the solutions to begin with, you just needed some sort of gratification to rest your mind.

Anyway, several of my well-wishers expressed their concern this time too, asked if all this makes any impact. And the honest answer is I don’t know. But what I know is that over the past 115 days, we had twenty people from across the world who joined us, expressed their solidarity and each spread the word to at least few more people. We will keep the chain alive for as long as we can, for as long as we can pass the baton to the next one in the chain. If you think that you can help us in any way, please do. A repost, a comment, a share can go a long way. After all, it takes only a committed minority to bring a revolution, and if you do not know, that minority has a number, it is about 3%.

#ChainFastingForPeace #FastingAgainstFascism #ResignAmitShah

Suniti Sanghavi: May 25 – May 29, 2020

May 25: Day 1 of my fast, day 91 of our chain:

Here I am fasting again to fill an unexpected gap in our chain. It is different this time – now I am part of an effort that has grown much bigger than myself, and it is truly humbling to be in the company of so many wonderful, caring, talented and committed souls who added an unimaginable depth and texture to the empty canvas I put out into this space on February 25. That initial step into the unknown, fueled by a strong and purposeful indignation on behalf of the victims of the Northeast Delhi pogrom and many others before them, and sustained by my fellow protesters against CAA and NRC in Los Angeles, has spread around the world in the past 90 days, propelled by a common longing among people of Indian origin to fight hate, win justice, and preserve what is true and meaningful to us all, irrespective of religion, caste, or class.

During the past several weeks, the constant onslaught of mindless transgressions by the powerful against the powerless in the guise of fighting the coronavirus has blunted my ability for outrage. Seeing my own aged family members trapped in a struggle for self-preservation against a backdrop of widespread and callous destruction of poorer lives has fatigued me. Every so often, my indignation morphs into a search for the underlying conditioning that drives people to act against their own real self-interest. What makes the preservation of known idiosyncrasies preferable to adapting to proven better alternatives? Why do triggers that look insignificant in hindsight lead us to irrational, irreversibly destructive actions? What happens when such triggers transcend the individual to affect whole communities, reinforcing impulsive foolishness with an addictive self-righteousness that is always found in copious supply within a mob?

My self-righteous indignation fails me when I notice that intrinsically, in all my human failings, I am no different from the mob leader, and the mob leader is intrinsically no different from their victim. The only thing that separates us, and keeps us moving along mutually disparate trajectories, is the flimsy abstraction of the social constructs we each adhere to, whether consciously or not, voluntarily or not. My indignation has limited reach when the view from each of these trajectories is so different that my carefully constructed, well-meaning, rational arguments melt into meaninglessness, or worse, get misconstrued as a threat or a trap by those they are directed at.

This brings me to a renewed understanding of what we have already discussed so often: We cannot hope to immediately bring down the fascists-du-jour, or bring around their support base. At first, we can only patiently tend to a space of resistance against them. By spreading love, empathy, and deep-rooted solidarity as a lasting antidote to their toxic scheme of hatred, divisiveness, and superfluous gratification. And then someday, a day we may only live to see if we’re really lucky, we will achieve a less destructive world. One in which we will have learned to appreciate other points of view even when we don’t fully share them.

#ChainFastingForPeace #FastingAgainstFascism #ResignAmitShah

May 26: Day 2 of my fast, day 92 of our chain:

My workload is heaviest this time of the year, taking up 8-10 intense hours everyday, leaving me with little energy for much else by the end of the day. After battling headaches and hunger pangs yesterday, today has been kind to me, with no headaches and only a mild sensation of hunger. And yet, I feel the urge to double check my work to make sure I’m not risking major mistakes. In the evenings, I am crankier than usual with Christian and Neal, and my evening conversations with my parents in India – a daily habit I made after the onset of Covid-19 – have shortened to the extent of appearing brusque. It is a fairly tight balancing act, that I would not be able to continue if either of us or my parents fell sick. I would also not be able to manage it if household chores were not evenly split in our home, with enough latitude for me to opt out of them completely from time to time. It is interesting to contrast my situation with the majority of women in India, whose lives are consumed by household chores, taking care of the children, and pleasing the in laws.

If an overdose of doing what I love to do and have chosen to do leaves me too exhausted to think straight by the end of the day, what state of mind would I be in if I had to live a life solely in service of other people’s expectations? It is even more interesting to contrast my situation with poor migrant families being driven out of their adopted cities. I, a migrant myself, left home in pursuit of my dreams, dreams that I am putting in long hours of work to realize. Dreams that may feel stupid or insignificant to others but mean the world to me. What if my dreams were trampled upon with existential threats, the kind our migrant laborers are being subjected to? What if instead of falling asleep on the living room couch at the end of a long day of working at my computer, I were to fall asleep on the seemingly unused railway tracks I had to walk along all day in the burning sun, with little food or water, with my life’s belongings on my back, just after the most modest dreams I ever dared to dream had been crushed in the worst imaginable manner by those who had more than enough but wouldn’t care enough to share? What if being “death tired” took on a literal meaning as I was run over in my sleep by a train I did not expect to ply?

#ChainFastingForPeace #FastingAgainstFascism #ResignAmitShah #ResignNarendraModi

May 27: Day 3 of my fast, day 93 of our chain:

As much as I enjoyed day 3 of fasting before, it has been difficult to put in 11 hours of focused work while completely refraining from food. Several times today, I had to steel myself to keep going. Finally free from work for the day, my mind does not yet feel pliant enough to write a post. Making me realize how much harder it must be for medical staff and other essential workers, who must feel similarly drained at the end of their workday – which is not only physically grueling but also laden with mortal risk at this time.

How must it feel at the end of their day, wanting nothing more than to be back in the comfort of home, only to be confronted by hostile neighbors? And then for the Government to take away half their paycheck without even asking! What, then, about the poor young migrant mother who fell ill on the train from Gujarat to Muzzafarpur? What was her state-of-mind before she succumbed to hunger, thirst, and extreme heat on that railway platform? Leaving behind two babies too young to process what an irreplaceable loss had befallen them in a country where everyone had forgotten how to care?

#ChainFastingForPeace #FastingAgainstFascism #ResignAmitShah #ResignNarendraModi

May 28: Day 4 of our fast, day 94 of our chain:

Today, I would like to take a moment to be grateful for not having to live under constant tyranny. To be able to choose, think, speak and act according to my conscience, which allows me to connect joyfully with nature, to care for people around me, and to create freely from an inspired space. This is what makes me feel alive and contented, making my life truly worth living.

I owe this state to people who have cared deeply for me, who have allowed me to make my own mistakes, and have encouraged me to face my demons rather than shielding me from them or blaming me for them. This is my greatest privilege. I don’t have to be rich, powerful or popular to have this privilege. The only thing to do to preserve this privilege is to share it – by helping others win against the tyranny in their lives.

#ChainFastingForPeace #FastingAgainstFascism #ResignAmitShah #ResignNarendraModi

May 29: Day 5 of my fast, day 95 of our chain:

As this 5-day fast nears its end, I notice that it has been a study in contrast:

Last time, from Feb 25-29, I was full of rage at the repeat performance of Gujarat 2002 in Delhi. I was in close touch with my fellow protesters against NRC+CAA and we were able to feed off each other’s energy. Shaheen Bagh was in the news, protesters were making themselves heard all over the world, it felt like we were winning in small but meaningful ways.

This time, from May 25-29, in addition to being the busiest time of the year for me at work, the world looks a lot more different. We’re isolated from each other due to lockdowns that cannot be safely expected to end soon. Our protests for a free and fair society have been silenced, memories of them erased in the public space like the art work of Shaheen Bagh. We watch helplessly in disbelief and despair as we see the consequences of the naked shallowness of those who have grabbed power on little more than lies and deception.

After harrowing scenes of death and destruction for our hardworking poor, they show concern only for the interests of the wealthiest for whom the poor labor, and nothing but scorn and contempt otherwise. I admit I was less upbeat about this fast than my last, but we cannot stop because we don’t feel so pumped anymore. Darker, harder times lie ahead if we hunker down despondently instead of speaking up with a sobriety and force that can only be summoned now – as we stand at the edge of a compassionate world that is made to benefit us all, overlooking a precipitous fall into the tyranny of the few.

Let us speak up now, let us keep reminding each other of what is truly important for all of us, because if we forget now, we will slip swiftly into the abyss of ignorance on which tyranny thrives, never to have a clear view of what really counts again.

#ChainFastingForPeace #FastingAgainstFascism #ResignAmitShah #ResignNarendraModi